Groom’s Outfit

 1. Choose your outfit   

It’s conventional for a groom to wear a morning suit for the wedding. But whatever you choose, discuss it with your fiancee first.   

If you have no idea what style you want then it might be a good idea to look through magazines and websites and to go to wedding shows. There are thousands of styles available, from separate bodices and skirts to flowing dresses. There are a whole host of contemporary designs as well as more traditional styles so it is a good idea to put in a little research and to narrow your options even a little.

A few more things to think about before you go shopping are, who to take with you. If you prefer to shop alone normally then remember that your wedding dress is probably the most important outfit you’ll ever buy and the opinion of a trusted friend could be invaluable. Your mum and your bridesmaids will be the obvious choice but try not to take too many people, as too many opinions can be more confusing than helpful. It is important to keep your instincts at the forefront of your mind, this is your day and your dress and if you don’t feel 100% happy about a style then it’s not the right one, even if everyone else including the assistant think it’s exquisite. Also think about what you want to be able to do in your dress. Basic tasks such as walking, sitting and dancing should all be performed with ease. Consider how your are getting to the wedding, will you be able to get in and out of your car or carriage easily? And also about where you are getting married, if it’s outside then an exceptionally long train or skirt won’t be practical if you want it to stay clean. You might also want to think about the overall style of the wedding. For instance if you are marrying in an elegant stately home then a sophisticated look might be appropriate, while a period castle might prompt a fairytale theme.

Conventionally, the woman’s ring is presented as a betrothal gift by a man to his prospective spouse while he proposes marriage or directly after she accepts his marriage proposal. It represents a formal agreement to future marriage.

In North America, Ireland and the United Kingdom, it is customarily worn on the left hand ring finger, though customs vary across the world.

Before agreeing to marry, a couple may choose to buy and wear pre-engagement rings, also called promise rings. After marrying, the couple may wear both engagement rings and wedding rings, or if they prefer, only the wedding rings. Some brides have their engagement and wedding rings permanently soldered together after marriage.

History

Engagement bands began in the Ancient Egypt as the circle was used to symbolize a never ending cycle and the space in it as a gate way. Betrothal rings were used during Roman times, but weren’t generally revived in the Western world until the 13th century.^[1] Roman men gave engagement rings that included a small key. Romantics believe that the carved key was a symbolic key to protect and cherish the husband’s heart. However, the key most likely stood for the unlocking of wealth.^[2] Rings are placed on the fourth finger (or ring finger) because Ancient Egyptians believed that it contained a vein that lead to the heart (vena amoris). Romans believed the ring to be a symbol for ownership rather than love. It meant that the husband would claim his wife. In second century B.C.E., the Roman bride was given two rings, a gold one which she wore in public, and one made of iron, which she can wear at home while doing house chores.^[3] Greeks may have been the first to create engagement rings, but to them they were known as betrothal rings. The rings however were not required to be given before marriage, unlike traditional engagement rings of today. In Europe, engagement rings were once known as a Posie ring. It was given as a form of promise of fidelity and love. During the age of Colonialism in America, a thimble was given as a sign of eternal companionship. Women would remove the tops of the thimble in order to create a ring.^[4]The first well-documented use of a diamond ring to signify engagement was by the Archduke Maximilian of Austria in imperial court of Vienna in 1477, upon his betrothal to Mary of Burgundy.^[1] This then influenced those of higher social class and of significant wealth to give diamond rings to their loved ones. Diamond mines in Africa were discovered in 1870, which then increased supply. As production increased with demand, those of lesser superiority were able to join in on this movement.^[5]

Historically, the uses of rings were for “betrothal” reasons such as for the Romans, as it didn’t always signify marriage. In fact, rings were a sign of affection or friendship. The history of rings first originated in 1215, when Pope Innocent III established a waiting period between the promise of marriage, and the actual marriage ceremony. The rings were then signified the couple’s devotion to one another, in that period of time. During that period of time engagement rings often represented one’s social rank as only the rich were allowed to own or wear rings with jewels.^[6]

Before the 20th century, other types of betrothal gifts were common. Near the end of the 19th century, it was typical for the bride-to-be to receive a sewing thimble rather than an engagement ring.^[1] This practice was particularly common among religious groups that shunned jewelry(plain people). Engagement rings didn’t become standard in the West until the end of the 19th century, and diamond rings didn’t become common until the 1930s.^[1] Now, 80% of American women are offered a diamond ring to signify engagement.^[1]

Wedding rings amongst men were more common during World War II, as the men overseas wore their rings in reminder of their wives and families back home.^[7]

Engagement rings have been valued throughout history as being a physical object symbolizing a man and women’s eternal love for each other, a promise of commitment towards one another.^[8] In the 21st century, especially within Western civilization, it has become a common expectation for the bride-to-be to permanently wear their ring as a means to maintain their commitment.^[8]

Purchase

In the 20th century, if he could afford it, the typical Western groom privately selected and purchased an engagement ring, which he then presented to his desired bride when he proposed marriage. More recently, couples frequently select an engagement ring together^{[citation needed]}. In countries where both partners wear engagement rings, matching rings may be selected and purchased together.^[9] In the United States and Canada, where only women commonly wear engagement rings, women occasionally present their partners with an engagement ring.^[10]

Like all jewelry, the price for an engagement ring varies considerably depending on the materials used: the design of the ring, whether it includes a gemstone, the value of any gemstone, and the seller. The price of the gemstones, if any, in the ring depends on the type and quality of the gem. Diamonds have a standardized description that values them according to their carat weight, color, clarity and cut. Other gemstones, such as sapphires, rubies, moissanite, emeralds, have different systems. These may be chosen to honor a family tradition, to use family heirlooms, to be unique, to be socially responsible (they are not associated with blood diamonds or the pollution caused by gold mining and cyanide process), to fit the individual’s stylistic preferences, or to manage cost. Synthetic stones and diamond substitutes such as cubic zirconias are also popular choices that are socially responsible and reduce cost while maintaining the desired appearance.

The idea that a man should spend a significant fraction of his annual income for an engagement ring originated de novo from De Beers marketing materials in the early 20th century, in an effort to increase the sale of diamonds.^[1] In the 1930s, they suggested that a man should spend the equivalent of one month’s income in the engagement ring; later they suggested that he should spend two months’ income on it.^[1] In 2007, the average cost of an engagement ring in USA as reported by the industry was US$2,100.^[11]

One reason for the increased popularity of expensive engagement rings is its relationship to human sexuality and the woman’s marriage prospects.^[12] Until the Great Depression, a man who broke off a marriage engagement could be sued for breach of promise. Monetary damages included actual expenses incurred in preparing for the wedding, plus damages for emotional distress and loss of other marriage prospects. Damages were greatly increased if the woman had engaged in sexual intercourse with her fiancé.^[12] Beginning in 1935, these laws were repealed or limited. However, the social and financial cost of a broken engagement was no less: marriage was the only financially sound option for most women, and if she was no longer a virgin, her prospects for a suitable future marriage were greatly decreased. The diamond engagement ring thus became a source of financial security for the woman.^[12]

Legal ownership

In most states of the United States, engagement rings are considered “conditional gifts” under the legal rules of property. This is an exception to the general rule that gifts cannot be revoked once properly given. See, for example, the case of Meyer v. Mitnick, 625 N.W.2d 136 (Michigan, 2001), whose ruling found the following reasoning persuasive: “the so-called ‘modern trend’ holds that because an engagement ring is an inherently conditional gift, once the engagement has been broken, the ring should be returned to the donor. Thus, the question of who broke the engagement and why, or who was ‘at fault,’ is irrelevant. This is the no-fault line of cases.”

One case in New South Wales, Australia ended in the man suing his former fiancée because she threw the ring away, after he told her she could keep it even though the marriage plans had fallen through. The Supreme Court of New South Wales held that, despite what the man said, the ring remained a conditional gift (partly because his saying that she could keep it reflected his desire to salvage the relationship) and she was ordered to pay him its AUD$15,250 cost.^[13]

Tradition generally holds that if the betrothal fails because the man himself breaks off the engagement, the woman is not obliged to return the ring. This reflects the ring’s role as a form of compensation for the woman’s damaged reputation.^[12] Legally, this condition can be subject to either a modified or a strict fault rule. Under the former, the fiancé can demand the return of the ring unless he breaks the engagement. Under the latter, the fiancé is entitled to the return unless his actions caused the breakup of the relationship, the same as the traditional approach. However, a no-fault rule is being advanced in some jurisdictions, under which the fiancé is always entitled to the return of the ring. The ring only becomes the property of the woman when marriage occurs. An unconditional gift approach is another possibility, wherein the ring is always treated as a gift, to be kept by the fiancée whether or not the relationship progresses to marriage. Recent court rulings have determined that the date in which the ring was offered can determine the condition of the gift. e.g. Valentine’s Day and Christmas are nationally recognized as gift giving holidays. A ring offered in the form of a Christmas present will likely remain the personal property of the recipient in the event of a breakup.^[14]

In the United Kingdom, the gift of an engagement ring is presumed to be an absolute gift to the fiancée. This presumption may be rebutted however by proving that the ring was given on condition (express or implied) that it must be returned if the marriage did not take place, for whatever reason. This was decided in the case Jacobs v Davis [1917] 2

Although 18 carat gold is preferred for engagement rings, common metal types such as gold, platinum, titanium, silver and stainless steel are also used for engagement rings.^[15] This allows for the bride-to-be to exert her own individual style into the ring in a simplistic manner.

In the United States, where engagement rings have been traditionally worn only by women, diamonds have been widely featured in engagement rings since the middle of the 20th century.^[16] Solitaire rings have one single diamond. Archetype of this modern form is the solitaire Tiffany Setting which was introduced by Tiffany & Co. in 1886 and featured the first mount which holds the gemstone with six claws (so called Tiffany mount). The traditional engagement rings may have different prong settings and bands. Another major category is engagement rings with side stones. Rings with a larger diamond set in the middle and smaller diamonds on the side fit under this category. Three-stone diamond engagement rings, sometimes called trinity rings or trilogy rings, are rings with three matching diamonds set horizontally in a row with the bigger stone placed in the center. The three diamonds on the ring are typically said to represent the couple’s past, present, and future, but other people give religious significance to the arrangement.

A wedding set, or bridal set, includes an engagement ring and a wedding band that matches and can be bought as a set. In some cases, the wedding ring looks “incomplete”; it is only when the two halves, engagement and wedding, are assembled that the ring looks whole. In other cases, a wedding set consists of two rings that match stylistically and are worn stacked, although either piece would look appropriate as a separate ring. Although the wedding band is not to be worn until the wedding day, the two rings are usually sold together as a wedding set. After the wedding, the bride may choose to have the two pieces welded together, to increase convenience and reduce the likelihood of losing one of the rings. A trio ring set includes a ladies engagement ring, ladies wedding band and a men’s wedding band. These sets often have matching rings and are lower in price.

In Nordic countries, engagement rings are worn by both men and women. Traditionally they are plain gold bands, although more ornate designs and other materials are gaining popularity. The engagement rings resemble the wedding bands sold in the United States, whereas women’s wedding rings often resemble US engagement rings.

In North America and the United Kingdom, it is customarily worn on the left hand ring finger. Similar traditions purportedly date to classical times, dating back from an early usage reportedly referring to the fourth finger of the left hand as containing the vena amoris or “vein of love”. This custom may have its origins in an ancient Egyptian myth that the finger contained a vein leading directly to the heart, or it may simply be because the heart lies slightly to the left side of the body. In Ukraine, it is customary for the ring to be worn on the right hand. In Germany the ring is worn on the left hand while engaged, but moved to the right hand when married. In Poland, the engagement ring and wedding band are traditionally worn on the right hand but modern practice varies considerably.

For men

In some countries separate from the Western world, it is common for both men and women wear engagement rings. Yet, in many Lutheran sects often the man wears an engagement ring. The rings are often in the form of a plain band of a precious metal. Sometimes, the engagement ring eventually serves as the wedding ring for the man. In Brazil, for example, the groom and bride-to-be usually wear a plain wedding band on the right hand during the course of their engagement.^{[citation needed]} After the wedding, the band is moved to the left hand. In Argentina, it is also known for the groom and bride-to-be to wear a plain silver band on the left hand while engaged. Then, after the wedding a silver band is either replaced with the wedding ring or moved to the right hand.^{[citation needed]}

Traditionally, women in the British Isles may propose marriage to men during a Leap Year.^[17] Women proposing has become more common in recent years^{[when?][citation needed]}, to the point that some jewelry companies have started manufacturing men’s engagement rings. They resemble typical men’s rings, often with a diamond centrepiece.

The most recent figures from the Office for National Statistics – from 2008 – showed that 60% of couples in England and Wales marry on a Saturday.

Friday in second place accounted for almost a fifth of all weddings as couples sought to jump the queue for their desired venue. Sunday (5.5%) trailed in third. But since those statistics were compiled, there’s been a lift-off for the mid-week wedding.

It’s a definite trend, says Arabella Dupont, executive retail editor at Brides magazine. The main reason is cost, with mid-week events about a third cheaper. With figures published this month by Brides showing that couples spend an average of £24,669 on their wedding, it’s easy to see why people are looking for savings, Dupont argues.

There’s also the hook of better availability. Country House Weddings, a company operating four stately homes in Essex, Gloucestershire and Somerset, holds 250 weddings a year at each venue.

With only 52 weekends a year, and high demand, couples are opting for a formerly unfashionable Monday or Tuesday to ensure they get to marry in a historic house with large grounds, a spokeswoman says. It can also lead to savings of about 40% in high season.

At Guthrie Castle in Scotland, which holds about 40 weddings a year, mid-week weddings are the most noticeable recent trend, says Maeghan Cuthill, weddings manageress. The reason is that weekends book out a year or more in advance, meaning that anyone wanting to marry at short notice must choose a weekday. There is also the enticement of around 30% off, she says.

Sense of occasion: but would it work on a Tuesday?

There are tricky issues to be negotiated with the mid-week wedding. First up there’s the fear you might have to share your venue with a David Brent-style corporate away day.

Then there’s the thorny question of guests being expected to take a precious day or two off work. “It would have to be a very close friend for me to take time off work,” Dupont admits. For that reason mid-week works best for smaller, more intimate weddings.

And it’s preferable to go later in the week so people feel the working week is almost over. “If it’s at the start of the week, people won’t be able to let their hair down as much. They’ll be thinking about how they’ve got to go back to work.”

Traditionalists might argue that the sense of occasion is lost on a Tuesday afternoon. But a wedding should be able to transcend which day of the week it’s on, Dupont believes. “As a bride you hope your nearest and dearest will be just as excited about your wedding on a Tuesday as on a Saturday.”

Siobhan Craven-Robins, who plans weddings costing about £45,000, says there’s little cause amongst her wealthy clients for mid-week celebrations. The trend is more towards holding longer celebrations stretching over three days.

It begins on the Friday night with an informal dinner before the wedding on the Saturday and a brunch or barbecue on Sunday. “It’s to make it last longer, to get to see everyone and enjoy the experience. Especially as people are getting married further away from where they live.”

But the financially-straitened times means that many people on average earnings are looking to make savings on weddings.

Travelodge reports an increase in wedding guests staying at its hotels, which offer rooms for as little as £29 a night. “Weddings are so expensive nowadays that people are making cutbacks,” says a spokeswoman.

In 2009, hotel chain Holiday Inn offered couples a wedding package for £999 that included a civil ceremony, evening DJ , function rooms and finger buffet for up to 100 guests.

But the Reverend David Newton, a baptist minister in Leeds, has gone one further. He cites statistics showing that 75% of cohabiters want to get married. Many of them are being put off by the high figures quoted for the cost of a wedding, he worries.

So Newton recently set up the website hundredpoundwedding.com to show that it can be done on the cheap. The Baptist church charges £67 for the wedding licence and says that with just another £33, a decent wedding can be arranged.

The Church of England is backing another cost-cutting trend. A small but growing number of couples are choosing to have their wedding reception at the back of the church after the marriage service. “It works brilliantly for couples who want it,” says Gillian Oliver, manager of the Church of England’s wedding project. “It can help make it more economical. Especially as couples who get married in a church may be missing out on ‘all-in’ offers from civil venues.”

Former Conservative MP Gyles Brandreth says the whole nature of weddings has changed for the better. Brandreth introduced the private members bill that led to 1994′s Marriage Act, which allows weddings to take place outside a church or register office.

Once upon a time, weddings were about a virgin bride and the legal joining of husband and wife. The reception, consisting often of just a cup of tea and a slice of cake, was something of an afterthought, he says.

Today people get married later and are often living together already. Protocol, including what day of the week you get hitched, has been jettisoned in favour of fun, he believes. “Weddings used to be very simple affairs. Now people can truly celebrate with family and friends on a great, joyous day.”

Source: BBC News Magazine

• Monday 3.9%
• Tuesday 2.8%
• Wednesday 3.5%
• Thursday 5%
• Friday 18.9%
• Saturday 60.4%
• Sunday 5.5%
• Source: ONS

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